rain down.

Friday, November 21, 2008

有时感觉自己好累，觉得自己很笨，
有时觉得自己为什么每次都在迁就别人，
自己一点主张也没有。

每次看见别人有着幸福的家庭，
我就会迫不及待地问，
我到底做错了什么，
让我在着种环境中长大。

但每一次我都会安慰我自己，
告诉自己，
至少，我还有朋友的陪伴。

但，说实在的，
我不知道该找谁。
好像没有一个朋友使得。

我真的好累好累，
但我也不敢说。
我害怕。
我想哭。

想哭的念头已经好久好久了。
说实在的，
我不要我的朋友为我而担心。

但有时候，
我真的很希望会有人多看我一眼，
我真的很希望会有人多关心我一点，
我真的很希望会有人多了解我一点。

只是这么小小的要求，
但是永远不会有的。

每一次，
我听朋友一有事，就匆匆忙忙地赶过去。
但若我有事，
谁来深出援手，帮帮我呢?

有时，我对他们的好，
他们知道我的好吗？

只好默默忍受。

有可能你们会认为我一整天都在诉苦，
但那只是因为我不要有人认为我在胡思乱想。

我不知道多少人会一个字一个字去阅读我以上的文字，
但这还是我内心的感受。

Seriously,
i'm tired of living.

and;

this is my first time crying so much daily.

i really feel sick of it..

being in the band is like being in a korean drama.

perhaps,
to you guys, i'm a very childish girl who floats around everywhere.
No groups, no clicks.

But, i'm not stupid.

Don't think that i don't know how you guys think.
Don't think that i am that childish.

Please think before you speak.

i am washing my hands off band.
cause i am seriously fucking sick of it.

here,
people telling me about how bad you're,
how proud you have became.
you know,
i REFUSED to believe it.

But today,
i was totally disappointed.
I've always told myself that you can be talked to.
That you can change back to the old you.

You said you were trying,
but for heaven's sake,
i don't see the fucking trials you made.

That day,
i took Deanna for indiv.
She don't even fucking push air.
Like the air is expensive.
The basics like keys, she don't even memorise la.
WTF.
I took it to my stride.
NVM.

I'm still having hope for her.

I just want to say,
i really tried hard not to emo.
i really tried hard not to show those emotions of mine.
i really want a break.

At the very least..
1min of my memory being erased?

Sorry for this emo post.

BYE.BYE! <33>

rained @ 8:31 PM