I dunno what i'm doing. and i dun wanna face the truth. it hurts.
Even though i still dunno the truth, i pray, hope, beg that it doesn't hurt that badly.
Just wanna ask; what if one day, ur BF/GF tells you that they got near you just to take revenge for his/her close buddy? Or perhaps, never told you but you found out, which is even worst.
What will you do..? I ponder.
&&; i still dunno what my future is.
I got the option form today. and my mind went a total BLANK. I just wanted to blackout at that moment.
Suddenly, it seemed like everything weighed on me.
Everyone said my english very good. But, i beg to differ.. It's just luck.
Today, dunno why.. i just walked for 30min after band practice. I didn't wanna head to anywhere. Just wanna walk alone.. but realised it was kinda late.. so after walking i just headed home..
Band instructor, Mr De Souza said.. "i dun wish to hear any more political issues in this band" I'm sick of it too.. Last year, i looked forward to band practises due to my section. It really encouraged me a lot.. I love the section. but now.. seemed everything has changed. Everyone going to band for the sake of going. The spirit and morale is running low. and i can't do anything but just to sit on the fence and hear them telling me stuffs which i dun wanna interfere myself in.
I really wanna be like before, so carefree and happy. At the very least, lesser troubles to worry about.
So.. please dun tell me anything about coma anymore. You might not agree with what i'm going to do next.. but, pls respect my decision. You might think its foolish. But, to me, it's meaningful.
I'll let go, but i need time. I'll smile, once some of the problems are settles.
Song for today:
By Ayumi Hamasaki Named Heaven.
LYRICS!
What you offered straight to me With a smile for the last time Was just so beautiful That I gave way to tears
Surely, that day The two of us touched love
We sought for each other Lost ourselves at times And found each other at last So whatever result may be waiting for us
It's nothing but Destiny
la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
In the sky you set out for Stars are shining tenderly upon me
Stay by my side, my love Crossing over time and changing your shape You see? The future we haven't yet seen Remains here like this
Stay by my side, my love Crossing over time and changing your shape The future we haven't yet seen Remains here
Trust me, my love You live within me So I'll never Say good-bye to you
Surely, that day The two of us touched love
Saigo ni kimi ga hohoende Massugu ni sashidashita mono wa Tada amarini kirei sugite Koraekirezu namida afureta
Ano hi kitto futari wa Ai ni fureta
Watashitachi wa sagashiatte Tokini jibun o miushinatte Yagate mitsukeatta no nara Donna ketsumatsu ga matte ite mo
Unmei to iu igai Hoka ni wa nai
la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Kimi ga tabidatta ano sora ni Yasashiku watashi o terasu hoshi ga hikatte
Soba ni ite aisuru hito Toki o koete katachi o kaete Futari mada minu mirai ga koko ni Nee konnanimo nokotteru kara
Soba ni ite aisuru hito Toki o koete katachi o kaete Futari mada minu mirai ga koko ni Nokotteru kara
Shinjite aisuru hito Watashi no naka de kimi wa ikiru Dakara kore kara saki mo zutto Sayonara nante iwanai
