First, jie. I just wanna say, dun think that when i know ur problem it'll be a BURDEN to me. Cause, to me, my friends are precious. Each and every one of them are very UNIQUE and SPECIAL, you guys hold a place in my heart. Once any of them is emotionally or physically hurt-ed, i feel the pain too. That's why, i really want you to open up to me. I really wanna help, since i'm INVOLVED alrdy.
Secondly, him. I dunno how to face you ever since you sent that msg. I know that you're serious, but, i have only met you a couple of times, talked a couple of times too ONLY. Perhaps, i need time. I need to sort out feelings. I need to revise for EOYs FIRST. I need ur help in coaching me NOW. So, please, i implore you. Don't stress me.
Thirdly, she. I shan't name who. But people who're close to me would know why am i crying for so long. I don't get it why you didn't trust me. I could see you're hiding BIG things from me. REALLY BIG. Like, you emo-ed. But you are DENYING. And now, you're overly-hyper. It's really obvious. I hope, you would open up soon. Cause i'm really concerned about you. I don't wanna lose a good friend like this.
Fourthly, them. Why are you 2 like this? It's the problem between you 2 ADULTS yet, you're dragging me, this child of urs IN?! I am seriously TOTALLY NOT interested. Can't you guys just send me to a home..? I would rather live in an Orphanage than here. Cause i don't even think that it's a HOME to me.
Fifthly, her. Why must you lie..? Everyone told me not to get close to you, not to believe you. But i beg to differ. Cause i know that humans are kind by nature. But you lied again and again. I can't stand it. There's no such person and yet you're saying such nonsense. WTF are you trying to show? Being despo? Or showing that you're wanted by so many guys..?
Sixthly, band. I know i suck alot in band. Cause i practically have no motivation to even step inside the bandroom now. I feel utterly ashamed when i'm just outside there looking at the room from afar, yet, no courage to enter. I'm gonna shut my doors from the rest soon. Cause i know, the sec 3s are having MAJOR exam stress. But, i just wanna say, thanks for being my friend. And, sorry for having to meet such a friend like me. Trust me, you'll regret if you step into my world. Cause it's pitch black. A route of no return. But, don't worry, i won't even allow you to enter there.
Seventhly, studies. TOTALLY NO INTEREST in it. I'm prepared to fail my MATHS AGAIN. Perhaps, i'm some arch enemy of MATHS in my previous life. I tried and tried doing ALGEBRA. But i can't do it. FUCK. Mon, Yi Hong helped me. Even Shu Hui knows how to do when YH wrote till the 3rd working. But i was sitting there, BLUR. I don't understand a single FUCK about ALGEBRA.
I don't even know how to move now. Therefore, i went to took the fortune telling thing today. What it wrote..:
It sometimes seems that fortune deliberately plays with you, do not despair.
You often think too much and don't reach conclusions in time.
Your sedentary habits risk ruining your health.
You sometimes seem emotionally shallow and almost heartless.
Each man has fancies contrary to his own good.
Love will bring you many advantages, your kindness will open many doors.
-The End-
Perhaps it's true. I didn't believe in this.. but now, i'm relying on it to give me a sense of direction..
My life's in a mess. Friends are my only support, yet they're like this. Who can i rely on..?
