I just wanted to say, sorry. I really didn't mean to cry. Its just that i couldn't control my tears at all. It just welled up in my eyes.
For that reason, i don't wish to say why i cried. But the only thing is, i feel very sad. Though you see me happy happy like that, i am NOT happy. I just had to put up a front for Germaine. I tried to act like i am happy and stuffs. But ended up, i couldn't control my emotions anymore. I just can't suppress my feelings. Its like, so pathetic. I can't even control my feelings.
What's wrong with me? I should be happy that new juniors are coming in. But i am in fact, very worried. Even though i am in Sec 2, my standard is like a Sec 1. I feel so ashamed. To Dolly: if you are reading this, i can tell you, today's triplet, the only reason why i could count it was that i memorised the thing. Though u forced us NOT to memorise, i realised that i couldn't count properly like that. I did try.
To Ezzul: Don't feel odd or what. You can and deserve to play that. You are very nice and sweet larh. No matter what, don't feel bad or anything. And, please brainwash everything you witness or heard about me. I don't wish to drag you in. =)
To Lynn: You must buck up. Don't be emo like me. =X I am sad cause of many other reason. And i believe you have the determination and perseverance to become a better trombonist. You can derrh. Believe and trust yourself. Just don't care about people around you. Concentrate and practise hard. STOP SLACKING! Then only will your SL stop saying you are stupid and stuffs.
Recently there's so much things revolving around me. I just couldn't cope or concentrate. Just like today. I spent my school hours staring in mid space. Only during the Science lesson then i concentrated a bit. Thought about a lot of things.
Went home today with Kah Hwee, Ben, Fabian, Yi Ci, Lynn and Tian Ji. Hahas.
To Tian Ji: Aiyo, why you so kan chiong. See the 176 so crowded alrdy still took it and squeeze with the passengers. There was another 176 right after that first one. LOL!
Heard about a lot of things. Until today then i realised that i was so naive. I feel like a dumbo. Like seriously, an idiot. =.=" Life's so complicated.
Lastly, i would really like to thank Germaine. She's like the one who cheered me up with this song. Its in Japanese. Lyrics and meanings are below.
Kagayaku kimi no hitomi ni chikatta I swore to your shining eyes
Chiisana mado kara aozora ga mieta gogo On the afternoon where I could see the blue sky through the small window
Nigeru koto nante mou shitaku wa nai yo I wouldn't do things like running away.
Senaka ni atatakai te no hira wo kanjite iru I feel the tap of a warm hand on my back.
Kizutsuku yori mo tsurai no wa The thing more painful than getting hurt
Ashita wo akiramete Is giving up on tomorrow
Jibun ni usotsuki tsudzukeru koto And continuing to lie to yourself.
Daijina yume wo hitotsu KOKORO ni itsudemo The one important dream in our hearts always
Shinjite, mamotte, norikoete ikou Let's believe in it, protect it, and surpass it.
Daijina yume ga aru kara, motto tsuyoku nareru When we have an important dream, we can become even stronger
Omoi egaita mirai wo dakishimete Holding on to the future we painted in our thoughts
Kore kara mo Forever
Sukoshi dake mae wo aruku katagoshi Only a little before walking shoulder to shoulder
Onnaji hohaba de shiroi kumo oikaketa With the same steps, I pursued the white clouds Erabunda michi ga tadashii kanante No one knows if the path we chose is correct or not
Dare ni mo wakaranai mayou toki mo aru keredo But no one understands the times we're lost either
Tsumadzuku koto wo kowagatte I'm afraid of blundering
Matte iru dake ja But i just wait.
Kinou to nani mo kawaranai kara Because nothing will change from yesterday
Daijina yume wo hitotsu futari de itsudemo The two of us always have one important dream
Shinjite, mamotte, aruki tsudzukeyou We'll believe in it, protect it, and continue walking
Daijina yume ga aru kara, mae dake wo mitsumete Because we have an important dream,we'll only look ahead
Motto harukana mirai wo mezashiteku We'll aim towards the very far away future
Kore kara mo Forever.
Kizutsukete, kizutsukerarete On days when we were hurt, days we were able to be hurt,
Kuyashikute naita hi mo Days we were mortified, and also on days we cried
Tsugi no DOA hiraku yuuki wo You gave me courage to open
Kimi ga kureta yo The next door
Daijina yume wo hitotsu KOKORO ni itsudemo The one important dream in our hearts always
Shinjite, mamotte, norikoete ikou Let's believe in it, protect it, and surpass it.
Daijina yume ga aru kara, motto tsuyoku nareru When we have an important dream, we can become even stronger
Omoi egaita mirai wo dakishimete Holding on to the future we painted in our thoughts
Kore kara mo Forever
For that, i am going to do something very sincere to ya. There it goes:
Friendships can b picky little things tat nibble Friendships can b tricky little things tat tickle As long as there is trust not dust, there shouldn't be any fickle.
Even if there's uncertainty, bring it back before it flies To ensure that the friendship never dies In case of doubt,look at ur buddy through her eyes Skip the confusion and leave the mess in e nest Before it all comes out like the pests.
Hence transparency between friends is vital Be it race or religion, fat or small The calling would be, in time to be.
=) Hope you like it. :D Took me sometime to create derrh worrh.
34days left till seniors step down. I am getting worried. =X
